Once, in the morning, on the day of Fornagash, there was a young man sitting down named Valanash who was born to a falnon and a felnis. Ever since he was a tyneshon, he knew that when he became a grown man, he was going to go live in New Zenelos, a city on the coast of Jarna. However, since he flailed the prashta of Onaesius, there was no flystore that could stop his Cheznal. So, he sat impatiently, awaiting the day he could move to New Zenelos. And thus, was the spininash of Valanash.
To the east, there was one problem involving the dinero on top of the mountain of Yelunun, where the Boralle of Worx lived. The Boralle of Worx was hungry for cosanna meat, but there were no cosannas around for it to feed on. Valanash sensed the Boralle's conundrum from his home to the west, and travelled in order to seek the Boralle, and attempt to appease it. Along the way, he spingled with the Teevers, but that's a story for another time.
Valanash reached Yelunun, and looked the Boralle in his eye. He said to the Boralle, "Ánjó é séja jóna séa wína ánajó cósánna, Borállé?" and the Boralle replied,
"Pójóna! Wínásta ánajó cósánna, Júna Ránanæn Válanæsh. Rínonje séja jónus séus. Vés, é nés?" to which Yuna Rananan Valanash (Young Warrior Valanash) replied,
"Vés, Borállé." and he headed into the Forest of Rikapokka, to hunt for cosannas. Along the way, he yoonbugged across the River of Yutte, and jalongled between the trees near the Shonklock. With haste, he made his way towards Oon'ha, traineling between the ears of the Almighty Habakapolikashonikafrink. Twontle.
Varium, he reeled T.B Broop out of the swamp, and began speaking to Him. "Héjó! Néjé jó fronkal bæbná! Ríka bú. Jé rána, Augustus?"
Broop replied, saying, "Nés rána, Válanæsh. Nónæn bæbná, Pilate." and he then disappeared in a cloud of smawgle.
This was not the response that Valanash had anticipated. He began spoggling his rintelfall, goyonga felicius pontakaja manapoo. "No more yoshopping around," Valanash thought to himself, before continuing his Koknok.
Twontle. Frarium es ponta, apapia forgonius. Tae bownta! Clanadiska chewonba padabadonkila fres. Twontle! Twontle! Twontle! Braekium chonchish! Twontle! Clonkerpele vin bodornalorngasorngahakano. Staynum pinkyus. Heyno booie looie fooie hooie. Spilk! Akonikus foonee Quintus Hortensius spagledakk.
Presently, Yuna Rananan Valanash sits by the yobahope. In the next part, he will biggalo the Yeenaharp Air Force. Goodbye.
The Yeenaharp Air Force has been biggalo'ed. Good job, Yuna Rananan Valanash. This is what the Yark has to say about Yuna Rananan Valanash,
"Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, Qui me ex uersiculis meis putastis, Quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Nam castum esse decet pium poetam Ipsum, uersiculos nihil necesse est, Qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, Si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici Et quod pruriat incitare possunt, Non dico pueris, sed his pilosis, Qui duros nequeunt mouere lumbos. Vos quod milia multa basiorum Legistis, male me marem putatis? Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo."
Thus concludes the Yark.
But far away, on the kawnanawna of Bakonka, there resided the Yark, Jr. who was similar to the Yark in every way, but junior. Disregard the Yark, Jr.
Moving on to more important popabops, there is a LALANU in the Yark's homba. Yuna Rananan Valanash must retrieve the Lalanu from the Yark's homba. I'm going to tell Yuna Rananan Valanash to retrieve the Lalanu.
Valanash, retrieve the Lalanu.
Valanash is now going to go retrieve/snorp the Lalanu, and I am glad that he wishes to yontabing. Retrieve/Snorp the Lalanu, Yuna Valanash. He snorps/retrieves the Lalanu. Thonkle o' bonkle, yuna one. Valanash the brave Rananan will feed his entire family with one kingling. Watch and observe.
"Yé úna spontó." Those are the words of the Yark, Jr., who you should ignore.
Yuna Rananan Valanash skarkled along the path, up to old Grandma Norpno's homba. "Héjó, Válanæsh! Chána é stáfe?" she said, in a plormplish type of tone, to Yuna Rananan Valanash.
The Yark eats an egg. The egg of the almighty Grogokog! Beware the Yark's grogokogolish breath.
Yuna Rananan Valanash skadimples. Please wait.
Yuna Rananan Valanash skadimpled to the moon. Do you realize what this means? In the words of King Arthur, this means, "Μῆνιν ἄειδε, θεά, Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος" which is true. Disregard my French.
Yunavalanash replies to Grandma Norpno, saying "Hé! Hí! Há! Hó! Jónásajó kíkí. Rója yúnás, Norpnó Gropnád. Vés, é nés, Norpnó?"
To which Norpnogropnad replied, "Nés, Válanæsh."
Behold! The Yark speaks again. Lipfond the words of the Yark. He says, "IYGEWIGICHQWOIJDQWOIJDQWOIJDOQWNLKLBJKBKBKBDOEUCJALSKDJFHGQPWOEIRUTYCBVZNVZHZXIUZXHUIHETUIWHTIUWEHTIUWEHIUTVWHEIUHVWIEUHTBVIUWEHVUWIEHTUIWEHTUIWEHTUIQHOEQWUEWQEQWOEUHOQWEHOEQWHEOQWEHQWEOUVNQWEVNWQVNQWMVEQWMASDLKASFJASLFHSALKFASHFASKLFHASLKPQOJGFJSAD!"
Truer words have never been yarkeled in all of history. In the next part, Valanash will yurk. Goodbye.
Read Finnegan's Wake.
In the next park, Valanash dies. Goodbye.